Fighting the Irish

As I sit here watching the NBA finals, I revel in how much I hate the Heat.  (Non NBA fans, note...I've capitalized the word Heat.  That means its a team, not a weather condition.  So no jokes about "It's not the heat, its the humidity."  Haha..you're very funny.  Now go away.)  Wow, that was a long aside.  Anyhow, I'm watching the NBA finals, so naturally my mind drifted to college football.  And since I'm hating a team, my mind naturally went where?  That's right, Notre Dame.

Yes.  I hate Notre Dame football. (I thought you hated Texas)  I don't hate the school (As I hate Texas).  I don't hate their other teams (As I hate Texas').  And I don't hate their fight song (Again, as I hate that god awful song, "The Eyes of Texas"  But despite what Texas fans think, not everything is about them, so I won't mention them again).  To recap.  I hate Notre Dame Football.

Here's why:

1)  They think God roots for them.  Well here's some news to Notre Dame fans.  God doesn't answer prayers as to the victor of a football game.  I could write a dissertation about the logical fallacy's of how forcing an outcome of a football game violates the core principal of free will.  But I don't have to.  Because if God lets Nick Saban and Alabama win a National Championship over you, its proof that He doesn't care about your football program.

2)  The touchdown Jesus.  Yes.  Notre Dame has a giant mosiac of Jesus Christ overlooking the football field doing a gesture that looks oddly like a touchdown sign.  Seen here.  I wish that were photoshopped

3)  Rudy.

4)  Manti Te'o.  The greatest joke in the history of college football.  Notre Dame fans thought it was a horrific tragedy that he didn't win the Heisman.  He was tied for 2nd in interceptions nationally (impressive for a linebacker) but he wasn't in the top 40 in sacks nationally (surprising for a Heisman candidate).  But they thought he was the best linebacker of all time.  Put his stats against Dat Nguyen.  I'll take Dat any day.  But that's not what made him funny.  The fact that he had the same story as half the 3rd graders in the nation made him funny.  His imaginary girlfriend.  Freaking hilarious.  A grown man with an imaginary girlfriend.  I bet he plays World of Warcraft too.

5)  And the final reason I hate Notre Dame.  They expect AND receive preferential treatment.  They get to handpick their schedule and if they wind up in the top 8 they are guaranteed a spot in a BCS bowl.  No other school has that guarantee.  The six major conference champions are guaranteed a spot in a BCS bowl. Lets say the conference champions are ranked 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 9 in the BCS poll.  You would expect teams ranked 6 & 7 to be the other two selected.  Not so if Notre Dame is ranked 8th.  They get to jump one of those teams.  Because they are Notre Dame.  At least the college playoff will fix this...I hope.


So there's my hate and discontent for the day.

And the Heat just won.

Damn.

-A Sports Fan